Satisfaction in The Gap

By Solomon E. Stretch, LPC, SAP, MAC, ICAADC, CAADC

We don’t talk enough about the gap—that strange, quiet, stretchy space between who you were and who you’re becoming. It’s not glamorous. It’s not immediately rewarding. It’s not the “arrival moment” you post online. It’s the in-between. The middle place. The valley between two mountaintops.

And yet, this is where your real life is happening.

The gap is where your character grows, your mindset shifts, and your identity starts to catch up with your future. But because it can feel slow, uncertain, or uneventful, most people try to rush through it. They wait for the next big yes, the next opportunity, the next breakthrough—believing that satisfaction only exists on the other side of becoming.

But here’s the truth:

If you don’t learn how to find satisfaction in the gap, you will never fully enjoy the destination.

Because the gap is not just space—it’s a classroom.

The Power of Intentional Pleasure

Finding joy “where you are” isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It’s about intentional positivity—choosing to notice, amplify, and create the small moments that remind you that life is still happening right now.

Pleasure isn’t a reward you earn after “making it.”

Pleasure isn't just felt, it's fuel.

It keeps you grounded. It keeps you hopeful. It keeps you connected to yourself.

Maybe it’s:

• A cup of coffee that hits just right

• A walk that finally quiets your mind

• A playlist that reminds you you’re still alive

• A conversation that leaves you lighter

• A moment of silence where you feel your own breath

Small pleasures matter. They anchor you when nothing else feels certain.

Authentic Positivity—Not Performance

Being intentional about positivity doesn’t mean smiling through pain or forcing gratitude when you’re exhausted. It means choosing honesty and alignment over performance.

Authentic positivity sounds like:

“I’m not where I want to be, but I’m choosing to find something good today.”

“I’m uncomfortable, but I’m still growing.”

“It’s not perfect, but it’s progress.”

This is the kind of positivity that builds resilience—not denial.

Why the Gap Feels Uncomfortable

Because it’s supposed to.

The gap is where:

• Old habits lose their grip

• New identities haven’t fully formed

• Uncertainty lives louder than confidence

• Doubt tries to speak louder than truth

But discomfort is a sign that something new is forming.

The gap is the evidence that you’re in transition, not stuck.

Finding Satisfaction On Purpose

Satisfaction in the gap doesn’t fall into your lap—you create it.

Ask yourself:

• What small joys can I intentionally cultivate right now?

• What does peace look like today—not in the future, but today?

• What ritual, practice, or pleasure can I add to make this season more gentle?

• Who am I becoming, and how can I honor that becoming in real time?

This is how satisfaction is built. Quietly. Intentionally. Repeatedly.

The Gap Is Not a Punishment—It’s Preparation

When life places you in the gap, it’s because there is something ahead that requires a more expanded, grounded, self-aware version of you. The gap is where that version is formed.

So don’t numb out. Don’t rush past the moment. Don’t resent the waiting.

Learn to savor it, even if it’s imperfect.

Because when you learn to find satisfaction here, everything on the other side hits differently.

You don’t just arrive—you emerge.